Oh my gyn!

Anyone who knows me knows I am not a morning person.  I believe it is something you are born with.  Like blue eyes or black hair.  You either are a rise and shiner or a don't even look or speak to me until noon person.  I am the latter.  So you can really appreciated my dedication to my employers when I agreed to open the office at 6:30am.  Honestly, that time of day should be sacred.  Outlawed.  At 6:30am everyone should still be snuggled in their beds, nuzzling their heads onto fluffy pillows with visions of Ian Somerhalder dancing naked in their dreams. 

But I agreed.  And even if I am not a morning person, I am a good employee and am dedicated to my job.  So I dragged myself from the depths of a blissful sleep (and with the prodding of my super annoying husband) down the steps and into the shower.  But since I did milk laying in bed as long as I could, I of course was running behind.  So I skipped shaving. I mean from the bottom of the dual staircases right up to the landing, ya know what I mean?  No biggie, right?  I mean it's just a little stubble.  Do it tomorrow.  Eh, throw on your very worst pair of underwear just because that is what your hand lands on first.  Don't worry about doing your hair.  Contacts?  Forget about it...just wear glasses today.  I mean when a co-worker who is used to seeing me at around 2:30 in the afternoon came into the office at 6:30 am all he could utter was, "Wow."  Yeah.  It was bad. 

As I inhaled the liquid energy in the form of a delicious latte, clarity began to slowly set in right around the same time I opened up the day's calendar.  And saw those words.  Erica- Appt 1:30.  Shit.  Shit shit shit shit. OMG (oh my gyn)! My appointment with my gynecologist.  I loathe doctor appointments.  I mean, like temper tantrum and pouting about going to them.  There is nothing I enjoy about doctor appointments.  Especially since I swear each appointment just spider webs into 20 additional labs or procedures they need to do.  So I am really, really, REALLY bad about regularly seeing a doctor or following thru on recommendations.  It only took me like 18 months to actually make this appointment.  And I only considered cancelling like 73 times.  So I am making progress on putting my health as a priority.  Baby steps.

Now anyone who enjoys my blogs I am sure has read my take on the Pap Smear, or as I prefer to call it Pap Fear.  No?  Well then click here and enjoy learning more about my thoughts on menstruation and the Jaws of Strife.  This time though my doctor was a man.  I arrive to the office to the appointment, bladder full.  I mean I am holding back the floodgates of urine.  A little girl is playing with the water cooler, running the water so it is splashing everywhere.  I want to tie her hands together as I will my bladder to stay strong.  She is only strengthening the case to discuss a tubal ligation.  They call me back, I talk to the doctor about my concerns.  As I overshare details I can see the shadow of regret in his profession of choice cast over in his eyes. We discuss options and then he tells me that he is going to do a Pap Smear.  Sigh, I guess get it over with.  So he leaves so I can get undressed.  Except I realize that there is no way that I can hold back the urine that he apparently did not need for a specimen.  So I held it for nothing.  I scoot across the hall, do my business and come back to get undressed.  I get up on the table, undressed from pants down with that awkward thin white sheet draped across my lap.  Looking down I realize that the "stubble" I assumed was on my legs has somehow manifested into something that would compete with Big Foot's hair.  Holy hell.  Lotion. I have lotion in my purse.  I jump off the table, petrified that he will open the door and catch me bent over in my purse digging for lotion.  Find the lotion and rub it on.  Suddenly the scent hits my nose and I realize that he may think I have "freshened up" for his benefit.  And dammit, the lotion actually makes the hair darker and more noticeable.  I toss the lotion bottle back to my purse, spilling the purse and its contents everywhere, exposing the worst pair of underwear I own.  So I can't just leave it.  I jump up, bent over, heart pounding, clutching the thin white sheet in a poor attempt to hide the lady bits as I try to throw everything back in my purse.  Keep in mind, I have already wasted precious minutes relieving myself in the bathroom, I mean it is down to seconds away from the doctor walking down the hall and witnessing my full moon.  Not sure why I care because he has front row tickets to the vag show, but I care. 

Luckily just as he opens the door to the room I am hopping back on the table. He gives me an odd look and is probably thinking I was rummaging through drawers looking for needles. Or maybe he is confused by the sudden overwhelming scent of Passionberry Vanilla lotion that fills the room.  I swear it was an attempt to cover up the lack of a razor and not the presence of any scents. 

I'm on the table, laying back, feet in stirrups, naked from the waist down.  The doctor and nurse make small talk while my vajayjay is on full display.  I feel like the room is shrinking and my love canal is expanding.  How can they discuss lunch with my labia waving at them?  I try to concentrate on the clever light covers on the ceiling that are meant to give all the victims of the stirrups something to look at. I try to imagine that I am laying on the beach but I have never been on the beach while the walls of my woman cave were being excavated with the Jaws of Strife.  I try to make it a point to not have my muffin factory open for public viewings.  So nice attempt but the clouds are not relaxing me at all.  And what do you do with your hands mid pap smear?  Tuck them behind your head and look like you are kicked back relaxing? 

After the doctor finished, he stuck his hand out to shake my hand.  Really?  We are going to pretend like he just sold me a car and wasn't just touching my cervix? Even when I walked out to the check out desk I had to check three times to be sure I had pants on because I still felt so naked!

As I stood in line to pay my co-pay (yes I pay to be humiliated and violated) I start thinking that I know that I dream about my work.  I wonder if that doctor wakes up in a cold sweat, fresh from a nightmare that a bearded clam is trying to swallow him whole...

Death of the American Shopping Mall

Within the next decade, the once popular destination of the shopping mall will no longer exist.  It will join the ranks of the compact disc, the movie rental stores and the home phone.  People change, technology changes and therefore habits change leaving what was once staples of life in the dust.  

Shopping malls not only provided access to the latest fashions and cds but also gave the teens of America a place to hang out and socialize.  Now they socialize on Instagram and thru Snapchat.  Parents are nervous to allow their teens to go to malls alone in the face of increasing violent crimes and public shootings.  Parents themselves have no reason to go to malls when the option of shopping online from the comfort of their home is far more appealing.  Any hour, any day, bra less and often cheaper prices wins any day over fighting rude crowds, dealing with over-zealous sales people and browsing thru all the merchandise to find what you want.

While many argue that this trend is killing jobs, I think it is important to examine the quality of jobs that is is destroying versus creating.  Most mall retail jobs are part-time (often with very few hours per employee), minimum wage positions.  To abolish the actual store and resort to online only sales you are therefore creating need for a distribution center, which more often pays higher wages and tends to employ full time.  The increased deliveries increases demands for truck drivers, also another higher paying position.  Without the overhead of store expenses and the steep cost of leasing a space in a mall, companies can lower prices of merchandise, making it more affordable to the general public.

As far as these sprawling malls built decades ago, their management companies need to get together for a pow-wow on how to stay relevant in the face of changing habits.  Take a hint from Destiny USA and make a trip to the mall about entertainment or even necessity rather than based on consumerism.  We want places to entertain our families, extraordinary food experiences, places to go for date night.  Indoor playgrounds or trampoline parks, sit down restaurants that are not fast food joints, bowling alleys or comedy clubs.  Bring in a gym, a dance studio, doctors or dentists or any other office that we can't get the service online.  I am far more likely to stop in a store at the mall if I was already there because I needed to take my kids someplace to burn off energy.

Take a look at Watertown- the Salmon Run Mall.  We have retail stores exploding in this area.  We have restaurants galore.  We have very little entertainment options, especially during our long stretch of winter.  We need a place the kids can go to burn off energy.  Something so fun, they beg to go back.  We need entertainment options to draw in tourists to stay in all these hotels being built.  Despite all the food choices Watertown offers, I think the worst move the mall has made was not renewing the lease for Barkeater's Cafe.  People want non-chain, hometown sit down restaurants to frequent.  Barkeater's was a reason to visit the mall.  Sure we have Skewed now (which I do love) but it's far more compact and not as cozy and inviting as Barkeater's was.

Survival needs to trump greed and perhaps it is time to consider lowering rents in order to draw in other options to occupy now empty spaces.  Less money coming in is better than no money coming in.  Should the malls not heed such advice they will join the hoards of vacant malls that now sit abandoned across this country, the forgotten playgrounds of the past. 

Monster Judgements

Twelve days until Santa arrives and so it's that time to generate a video from Santa letting my little one know she has made the nice list again this year!  I can not fathom what actions would result in actually labeling my child as naughty.  Is she perfect?  No, but she is your average 7 year old.  She hates to pick up after herself, you sometimes have to tell her something repeatedly and sometimes she mouths back or acts out.  I find that if I do not provide enough activities to burn off the wonderful energy of youth that she tends to act out more, so if she is acting "naughty" my first resort is to find something fun and physical for her to do.  Nine times out of ten, it works.  Simply put all four of the kids make the nice list every year because they are great kids and we love them unconditionally.  So as I search for a picture of what she asked for (Monster High and Ever After Dolls) I stumbled across this.  I will pause while you read it so we are all on the same page.

Let me begin by pointing out that I prefer to use the word "ugly" to describe someone with a bad attitude / unfavorable personality, not to describe people by their physical appearance.  So for a mother, and a "Christian" woman to encourage the use of the adjective ugly to describe appearances is "ugly" to me.  Second of all- when the heck did Barbie become a symbol of modesty?  She is white, blond, has huge boobs, a tiny waist and then Kardashian booty.  I mean sure, she has her token black friend, but I have noticed more than once that her token friend is priced a lot cheaper than the more popular Barbie.  She reinforces what every magazine cover and movie star is telling our society:  Unless you are crazy thin with perfect perky HUGE breasts and curve to your hips with a thigh gap, you are not role model worthy. 

  

Are those stilettos?  Mini skirts?  Tattoos?  GASP!

Bring in Monster High/ Bratz/ Ever After dolls.  They have breasts, but they are tiny and not a focal point in any of their clothing.  Sure they wear stilettos, but last time I checked, Barbie's plastic feet were in a permanent curve from her never ending supply of stiletto heels herself.  To me, Monster High dolls if anything embrace being different.  Having scars, imperfections, different skin color.  There is not one leader to the pack, all characters are equal, but different in appearance.  Ever After dolls are daughters of popular fairy tale characters.  And Bratz are just smaller boobed versions of Barbie.  But guess what, these characters are not running off, marrying their perfect Ken, living up in the Dream House, with their 2.5 kids and white picket fence.  They aren't vets and astronauts.  They are every day high school students, parents of popular mythical creatures.  So what is the issue?  And to quote Ms. Holier than Thou Thomas, "  My opinion is that they normalize the occult."  Oh give me a freaking break.

Monster High & Ever After Dolls

 



THIS is why I can not be part of Christianity or any organized religion.  Because you take something as harmless as a doll created from imagination and you make it about worshipping evil.  Well, Ms. Holier than Thou, my little heathen not only owns 666 of these dolls, but I also demoed the freakin Dream House and renovated it into the Dark House.  Oh yeah, there are skulls and bats and blackness and spiders.  I should have thought to add a room for sacrifices, but it slipped my mind at the time.  Did I mention my little girl falls in the age group of 6-12?  She also has some missing teeth, making it appear that she has fangs right now.  Someone schedule an exorcism STAT. 

P.S...this is where I add that of course you had to mention you were searching for a white sweater...if we didn't have a clue on how pure and perfect you and your heavenly offspring are, we sure do now.  By the way, I bought my daughter a black sweater for her concert- it even sparkles just like the sinful sequins on her dress!

And to quote you again, " Do people really see these horrid things as innocuous playthings for their children?  It’s hard to fathom."  Well, Ms. Holier, yes I LOVE these dolls.  I wanna be one of these dolls with their hot pink hair and piercing green eyes!  I want blue skin and I want my best friend to be an offspring of a freakin werewolf because I would rather believe in these mythical creatures than to judge others and look down my nose unto those not as holy as you.  But don't worry, I would NEVER want my child to play with your child.  Because my child is innocent and nonjudgmental and doesn't believe that if they do wrong or play with a doll that looks different they were burn in an eternal fire.  You want to talk about freakish or gory?  Have you read your Bible?  I mean there is incest, rape, murder and other horrid stories sure to give any kids nightmares. 

THIS is why I can't have solid faith.  Because here I am minding my own business, not caring what other allow their children to play with while you are over there writing a blog bashing my parenting choices.  It's okay though because while your child will be receiving their pure white basin to hold their holy water, on Christmas day my child will be running down the stairs to see what the magical and wonderful Santa brought for her.  And guess what....oh yeah....lots of Monster High, lots of Ever After and lots of love.  Didn't you know that even heathens love the season?

My child right now talks a lot about one day operating her own animal sanctuary.  She loves making gifts.  She loves her family and friends.  She is a Girl Scout, which embraces God.  She has attended Bible School so that she can be exposed to what I do not teach at home.  I volunteer my time and love to give to those in need.  I love to do random acts of kindness.  We trick or treat...we dress up (past two years my daughter was a Monster High figure).  If my girls get a tattoo when they are of age or tell me they are lesbians or decide to convert to any religion of their choice- I will love, embrace and support their choices.  People do not need religion to be good.  Children can play with dolls that are different from the norm and still be innocent and good.  And you can be religious and not judge.  You should try it sometime. 

One Mama's Opinion on Common Core

**Disclaimer:  I am not a teacher.  I am a parent of two school aged children.  Every splendid word you are about to read is my opinion based on what I have read and seen in regards to Common Core.  I encourage anyone who is unsure of what Common Core entails to research the topic and form your own opinion from what your research finds.**

Common Core.  Sigh.  A term that we hear quite often, but yet I don't know if anyone fully understands what it really means.  I really think that there isn't any aspect of it that is easy to understand.  As a parent this is frustrating- I can't even imagine being a child trying to learn with the Common Core standards.  Especially if you have any learning difficulties.

Apparently "someone" thought the American education system was failing.  I am not sure who "they" are that make these decisions.  So in effort to become globally competitive and make sure all children got the same education country wide, no matter what state they live in "they" came up with Common Core.  Fabulous, except for as a parent, I don't care about how my daughters match up globally.  And honestly just because a kid in Alabama doesn't learn the Dewey Decimal system, but a kid in New Jersey does, I really don't think the Jersey kid has an advantage.  I care that my children get a decent foundation of education.  I care that they are happy and have a carefree childhood because sooner rather than later, they will be burden with the worries of adulthood.  I care that they be able to read, to write, to do addition, to subtract.  I care that they get to enjoy recess, to enjoy art and music. 

There is also the slight issue that Common Core is attempting to teach a broad range of children with a one-size-fits-all attitude.  Which is why our initial classic education system is deemed as failing.  Think about a career.  Say a doctor.  Not every person is cut out to be a doctor.  Not every person would thrive in that position.  Not every person would be capable of the level of education that is required for a medical degree.  So there are specific college courses that cater specifically to this career.  Someone who was pursuing an engineering degree would not take these courses.  Why do we allow adults the freedom to pursue which classes best suit them but not children? 

My oldest daughter is bubbly, funny and social.  As a parent, I really have to stay on top of her about homework and putting forth effort.  When she does put the effort forth, she does well at general level classes.  I really look forward to when she is a junior and a senior as she will be able to take a course at the local vocational school.  I think she will love the hands on learning approach rather than sitting in a classroom seven hours a day.  She is expected to earn a Regents Diploma, which terrifies me.  I think she would easily earn a Non-Regents Diploma, but that is no longer an option.  The very thought makes me want to cry for her.  She is smart and I have no doubt that she will be able to succeed in life without ever taking Chemistry or Physics.  We no longer have the choice to opt out of the lab sciences (update:  I have been told that Living Sciences is the only lab they must take, but they do require 3 credits for Sciences). 

That being said, she will graduate after struggling for a year to do her Chemistry homework but she will not be taught in school to balance a checkbook, to file income taxes, how to participate in a job interview, how to grow her own food, how to change a car's oil, how to create and stick to a household budget, CPR and other skills that are essential in life.  She, and many others, will graduate never have been taught any of these basics.  Thank the Heavens above she will have studied the Periodic Table though.  That is certainly going to help if anyone ever stops breathing in her presence.  Luckily I can teach her a majority of those skills, other children will not be so fortunate. 

As shocking as the concept may be, I don't work full time by choice.  It comes from need.  Otherwise, I think by this point both my girls would be home schooled at least until they voiced a desire to go to public school.  Please let it be known my teenager has actually asked me to please home school her.  I froth at the mouth with envy over my friends who have made that decision.  I have a new friend who is fascinating to me.  She lives on the road with her family, traveling state to state in their RV following her husband's work requirements.  Not only do they save on housing costs, can you imagine the experiences her children are getting?  The different cultures and landscapes they get to see- it is just amazing.  Nothing that a classroom would ever be able to provide.  (Sliding in a shout out to her blog The Boho Hobos- check it out!)

Another homeschooling Mama that I adore just recently hatched chicks from eggs that her daughters helped incubate and prepare for hatching.   Her one daughter sewed a doll for her other daughter as a Christmas gift.  It was better than I could have ever done! 

We are not all meant to be diplomats, inventors, engineers or doctors.  Some of us lead ordinary lives and go the rest of our lives without ever having to use the FOIL method again.  I think schools should use elementary to set a very basic foundation and then allow students to pursue different classes in high school.  Interested in the medical field?  Great, here are the Biology courses you can choose from.  Interested in Accounting?  Great, here are the Math classes you will need.  Cosmetology?  Sign here for technical school. 

I really don't think the Federal Government needs to be putting their two cents in on the topic of education.  I find it very ironic that they show so much concern over school attacks (shootings/ stabbings) but what do they do the minute someone upsets them?  They wage war, chock full of violence.  It is well known that bullying is a major problem in public schools, but when was the last time you saw an election that didn't include smear campaigns?  Bullying at it's finest.  They line their pockets while cutting funding to the schools, increasing classroom size and decreasing the amount of one on one attention each child will receive.  They will send millions to other countries but ignore the American family living in the streets.  No, I don't think the Feds are in a position to make any decisions regarding the children of this country.  Not until they shed their hypocritical skins and lead by example. 

And don't just blame Obama, Bush lit this fire with No Child Left Behind which started the push on standardized testing.  Common Core has just changed the testing involved.  Mr. President, no matter what kind of testing, curriculum or policy you roll out as long as you have children with empty bellies, bruises from last night's abuse on their body or learning disabilities courtesy of all the chemicals you allow to be pumped into Americans in order to feed your greed, nothing will change academically.  You will still place behind China and Japan.  Don't worry though, if that truly upsets you, you can just go ahead and wage war on them. 

  

Oh the places I will go...

I love to travel and will be road tripping it (my favorite way to travel) to Illinois next month. So excited! Just found this cook website that helps map how much of the United States you have seen. Although I am happy knowing I have been to a quarter of the states, my goal is to visit at least half the states if not more.
visited 12 states (24%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or Triposo world travel guide for Android

Year of the Sloth Mama

We have all heard of the term "Tiger Mother".  Defined as a mother who is overly strict with her child in order to foster an academically competitive spirit. This form of upbringing is intended to direct a child towards financially successful careers at the potential risk of feeling emotionally unfulfilled and/or socially inept.  Based off of this definition, I am going to have to nickname myself a Sloth Mama. 

Tiger Mothers probably wake up in a pool of sweat screaming after having nightmares about becoming the kind of mother I am.  Starting with overly strict...now I guarantee that my teenager would tell you I am strict, but I am not.  I once got into a debate online with a woman who said that allowing your children to dye their hair and wear Victoria's Secret would for sure result in a teenage pregnancy.  My teenager's hair is currently at probably 7 different shades thanks to a trip to the local cosmetology school for some highlights.  I look at it like I'd rather have her experiment with hair color than other things like drugs and sex.  Now I have yet to say yes to any piercings other than ear lobes, but I am still not feeling worthy of a Tiger roar. 

There are "daily" chores assigned to every member of the family, but I put blinders on to lazy days where we all slack at what our assigned chores are.  More often my house is in a state where I prefer to lock the door than allow visitors in, but if I died tomorrow I wouldn't want my last thought to be at least my house is clean.  We actually spend a lot of time just relaxing at home, together.  I don't set limits (i.e. two hours of television a day, no electronics after 6pm, etc).  Right now I am vegged out in the recliner, typing away at this post while my oldest has fallen asleep on the couch with her little sister snuggled against her watching cartoons.  Dishes are in the sink, the house could be picked up but we have designated Friday nights as our "lazy night".  Basically being a little slack on the chores, don't cause my claws to come out. 

In fact our schedule is pretty lax most nights.  The very thought of hauling the kids from one scheduled activity/lesson/practice to the next gives me anxiety.  M (my youngest) just finished a 5 week swimming course.  She does Girl Scouts and will soon start T-ball.  P (my oldest) does cheerleading during football season.  She has actually participated in cheerleading every since she was 7 years old.  They both have dabbled in gymnastics, soccer, dance.  If they get into an activity they find themselves really not enjoying, I don't force them to continue with it.  I don't want them to fear trying something new out of fear they will hate it and be stuck doing it.  If I had a job I hated, I wouldn't stick with it just because I accepted the position.  I doubt Tigers actually do too much they hate either. 

Academically, both girls are average students.  They both have their areas they struggle in and you know what?  I am okay with that.  I don't expect 99 averages on everything and accept that not everyone learns the same and excels the same.  Prepare yourself- I don't even force the idea of college.  *Gasp*  Now granted I do encourage learning skills that set them aside from others in the workforce but I recognize that not everyone needs college (and the burden of debt after school) in order to succeed.  The very concept of being a Tiger Mother is to set aside emotional concerns in order to assure financial security and success.  This to me sends a message that money = success.  That achieving money is the goal in life.  I am not okay with that message.

Money does not equal happiness or success in life.  Look at the recent suicide of L'Wren Scott, a talented and loved woman who ended her life at the very thought of not being rich.  I want the girls to be comfortable in life but I don't think that a six figure salary is the answer to it all.  I think there are many honorable careers/ life choices that do not require a degree.  I want to encourage my girls to do something they enjoy in life, to choose their own path and have a voice in who they become.  I think a strong sense of self is worth more than a fat paycheck.  Would you rather have your child known as loving, caring and kind or as successful and wealthy? 

I am not saying that I wouldn't be thrilled for the girls if they ended up filthy rich, but what I am saying is I am not willing to sacrifice my children's emotional needs in the hopes that they will be a CEO.  When you teach your child to repress emotions and social needs, you are robbing them of compassion.  You teach them to not consider other's feelings when it can be an obstacle to financial gain.  This is a dangerous, slippery slope to send them down on their way into adulthood.  I once had the opportunity to review a book written by a psychologist in regards to psychopathy.  Some of his colleagues theorize that psychopathy is part of evolution.  While I can see how the lack of emotion would be beneficial to survival of the fittest, this theory scares the heck out of me.  Can you imagine the kind of world we will exist in when greed trumps emotion?  I sure hope I am not around to see it.  Or my kids for that matter.

Tiger Moms don't just repress their children emotionally but socially as well.  They do not acknowledge the importance of peers.  Both of making friends and losing friends.  Just recently my youngest expressed sadness at the realization that one of her treasured friendships was becoming a distant one.  This is part of growing up, we have all been there.  Friends that we once considered to be our closest friend become acquaintances.  It is a painful process to come to terms with but just as important to social development as making friends is.  When we don't learn what it is like to make friends, it creates a lonely existence.  When we don't learn what it is like to lose friends, we can't cope well with loss or changes in life.  We lose the ability to adapt, to compromise and to empathize.  Social and emotional wellness are just as, if not more important than financial wellness in the balance of life. 

Since I believe in the practices of attachment parenting, I place high priority on my children's emotional needs.  I don't believe in letting a baby cry or that you can spoil a child with too much affection.  I co slept with both girls.  The activities they are involved in is for the main goal of interaction with peers in order to develop social relationships.  I strongly believe in Erik Erikson's theory on psychosocial development and changing social dynamics based on the age of a person.  By the way, Erikson lacked a Bachelor's Degree but taught at highly respected schools such as Yale and Harvard. 

Everything is open in my house.  Minds, conversations, schedules, opportunities, arms.  I am not perfect and so I do not demand perfection.  I am happy being a Sloth Mama, whose young cuddle and cling to them until they are ready let go and try the world out for themselves.  Being a Sloth Mama who shows the way of the world, how to survive but also allowing for falls, for learning.  And even when they are ready to take the world on for themselves, they can keep me in reach for when they need support.  I don't want them to become the alpha Sloth or the Queen of the Sloths, but just a contributing member of the herd.  Laid back, non-predatory, harmless. 

Plus, we are pretty dang cute.  Sloth Mamas Unite!

Motivate to Move It!!

It's been a year since I last posted my Top 100 songs to work out to!  For anyone like me, keeping a refreshed playlist is a must for motivation to be active!  I am super selective when it comes to songs that make me want to get up and burn some hardcore calories, so consider this the filet mignon of music! ; )  Click on any of the songs to hear it via YouTube (warning- some are explicit or possibly offensive)!  Oh and you are welcome!

1. Pulses by Karmin
2. Boom by Ying Yang Twins
3. Freak a Leek by Petey Pablo
4. So Fine by Sean Paul
5. Now or Never by Outasight
6. Dark Horse by Katy Perry
7. Love Me Again by John Newman
8. All I Do is Win by DJ Khaled
9. The Monster by Eminem & Rihanna
10. Wild Ones (Project 46 Remix) by Flo Rida and Sia
11. Play Hard by David Guetta
12. #thatPOWER by Will.i.am and Justin Bieber
13. With You by Linkin Park
14. Breathe by The Prodigy
15. As We Enter by Nas & Damian Marley
16. Take It Off by Ke$ha
17. Naughty Girl by Beyoncé
18. Crazy in Love by Jay-Z & Beyoncé
19. Drop It Like It's Hot (Sean's Reggaeton Remix) by Snoop Dogg and Pharrell
20. Rock the Casbah by the Solar Twins
21. In Da Club (Remix) by 50 Cent & Beyoncé
22. Watagatapitusberry by Pitbull
23. Somebody's Watching Me by Beatfreakz
24. Danza Kuduro by Don Omar
25. Ride With Me (Stargate Remix) by Nelly
26. Stand Back by Stevie Nicks
27. Self Control by Laura Branigan
28. Rebel Yell by Billy Idol
29. Invincible by Pat Benatar
30. Levels vs C'mon N' Ride It Mashup by Avicii and Quad City DJs
31. Move Ya Body by Nina Sky
32. It's My Life by No Doubt
33. You Can Do It by Ice Cube
34. Where's Your Head At by Basement Jaxx
35. Hella Good by No Doubt
36. Better Off Alone by Alice Deejay
37. Lose My Breath by Destiny's Child
38. Living Dead Girl by Rob Zombie
39. Violet by Hole
40. Stinkfist by Tool
41. Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship
42. Cry for You by September
43. Move Shake Drop by DJ Laz
44. Happy by Pharrell Williams
45. Ain't It Fun by Paramore
46. Partitions by Beyoncé
47. I'm a Freak by Enrique Iglesias
48. Exotic by Priyanka Chopra
49. Replay (Jump Smokers Remix) by Zendaya
50. Pompeii by Bastille
51. White Walls by Macklemore
52. Chocolate by The 1975
53. Nothing Feels Like You by Little Mix
54. Cannonball by The Breeders
55. Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John
56. National Anthem by Lana Del Rey
57. I Think I'm Paranoid by Garbage
58. Next to Me Remix by Emeli Sande and Kendrick Lamar
59. Badd by Ying Yang Twins & Mike Jones
60. Ching a Ling by Missy Elliott
61. Lean Back Reggaeton Remix by Fat Joe
62. Papi Chulo by Lorna
63. Kiss Kiss by Tarkan Simarik
64. The Bad Touch by The Bloodhound Gang
65. Dani California by Red Hot Chili Peppers
66. Alors on Danse by Stromae
67. Beat Dat Beat by DJ Pauly D
68. Va Va Voom by Nicki Minaj
69. I Wear My Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart
70. Disarm by Smashing Pumpkins
71. Machine Head by Bush
72. Light Em Up by Fall Out Boy
73. Written in the Stars by Tinie Tempah
74. 6 Foot 7 Foot by Lil Wayne & Corey Gunz
75. Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood
76. Play by David Banner
77. Pon de Floor by Major Lazer
78. Crawling by Linkin Park
79. Send the Pain Below by Chevelle
80. Let's Go by Trick Daddy
81. Overnight Celebrity by Twista
82. Glow by Nelly Furtado
83. Throb by Janet Jackson
84. Wish You Were Here by Incubus
85. Let Me Think About It by Ida Corr & Fedde Le Grande
86. U and Dat by E-40
87. One Thing by Amerie
88. Rhythm is a Dancer on my Humps by Black Eyed Peas vs Snap!
89. Flood by Jars of Clay
90. Friends and Family by Trik Turner
91. All Around Me by Flyleaf
92. My Own Prison by Creed
93. Beggin by Madcon
94. Move If Ya Wanna by Mims
95. Shooting Star by David Rush
96. Run the Show by Kat DeLuna
97. Blow My Whistle by DJ Alligator
98. Jerk It Out by The Caesers
99. Iesha by Another Bad Creation
100. Get Money by Junior Mafia

20 Cool Down Songs:

1. Silence by Delerium
2. What Now by Rihanna
3. Adore You by Miley Cyrus
4. Glory and Gore by Lorde
5. It Can't Rain All the Time by Jane Siberry
6. Falling Slowly by The Frames
7. Tennis Court by Lorde
8. Set Fire to the Third Bar by Snow Patrol
9. Colorblind by Counting Crows
10. Walking on a Dream by Empire of the Sun
11. Midnight City by M83
12. Born to Die by Lana Del Rey
13. Stay by Rihanna
14. Nicest Thing by Kate Nash
15. Independent Love Song by Scarlet
16. Damaged by Plumb
17. Ride by Lana Del Rey
18. Dirty Paws by Of Monsters and Men
19. Africa by Toto
20. Lluvia by Nochell

Happy Sweating!