Thursday, April 24, 2014

One Mama's Opinion on Common Core

**Disclaimer:  I am not a teacher.  I am a parent of two school aged children.  Every splendid word you are about to read is my opinion based on what I have read and seen in regards to Common Core.  I encourage anyone who is unsure of what Common Core entails to research the topic and form your own opinion from what your research finds.**

Common Core.  Sigh.  A term that we hear quite often, but yet I don't know if anyone fully understands what it really means.  I really think that there isn't any aspect of it that is easy to understand.  As a parent this is frustrating- I can't even imagine being a child trying to learn with the Common Core standards.  Especially if you have any learning difficulties.

Apparently "someone" thought the American education system was failing.  I am not sure who "they" are that make these decisions.  So in effort to become globally competitive and make sure all children got the same education country wide, no matter what state they live in "they" came up with Common Core.  Fabulous, except for as a parent, I don't care about how my daughters match up globally.  And honestly just because a kid in Alabama doesn't learn the Dewey Decimal system, but a kid in New Jersey does, I really don't think the Jersey kid has an advantage.  I care that my children get a decent foundation of education.  I care that they are happy and have a carefree childhood because sooner rather than later, they will be burden with the worries of adulthood.  I care that they be able to read, to write, to do addition, to subtract.  I care that they get to enjoy recess, to enjoy art and music. 

There is also the slight issue that Common Core is attempting to teach a broad range of children with a one-size-fits-all attitude.  Which is why our initial classic education system is deemed as failing.  Think about a career.  Say a doctor.  Not every person is cut out to be a doctor.  Not every person would thrive in that position.  Not every person would be capable of the level of education that is required for a medical degree.  So there are specific college courses that cater specifically to this career.  Someone who was pursuing an engineering degree would not take these courses.  Why do we allow adults the freedom to pursue which classes best suit them but not children? 

My oldest daughter is bubbly, funny and social.  As a parent, I really have to stay on top of her about homework and putting forth effort.  When she does put the effort forth, she does well at general level classes.  I really look forward to when she is a junior and a senior as she will be able to take a course at the local vocational school.  I think she will love the hands on learning approach rather than sitting in a classroom seven hours a day.  She is expected to earn a Regents Diploma, which terrifies me.  I think she would easily earn a Non-Regents Diploma, but that is no longer an option.  The very thought makes me want to cry for her.  She is smart and I have no doubt that she will be able to succeed in life without ever taking Chemistry or Physics.  We no longer have the choice to opt out of the lab sciences (update:  I have been told that Living Sciences is the only lab they must take, but they do require 3 credits for Sciences). 

That being said, she will graduate after struggling for a year to do her Chemistry homework but she will not be taught in school to balance a checkbook, to file income taxes, how to participate in a job interview, how to grow her own food, how to change a car's oil, how to create and stick to a household budget, CPR and other skills that are essential in life.  She, and many others, will graduate never have been taught any of these basics.  Thank the Heavens above she will have studied the Periodic Table though.  That is certainly going to help if anyone ever stops breathing in her presence.  Luckily I can teach her a majority of those skills, other children will not be so fortunate. 

As shocking as the concept may be, I don't work full time by choice.  It comes from need.  Otherwise, I think by this point both my girls would be home schooled at least until they voiced a desire to go to public school.  Please let it be known my teenager has actually asked me to please home school her.  I froth at the mouth with envy over my friends who have made that decision.  I have a new friend who is fascinating to me.  She lives on the road with her family, traveling state to state in their RV following her husband's work requirements.  Not only do they save on housing costs, can you imagine the experiences her children are getting?  The different cultures and landscapes they get to see- it is just amazing.  Nothing that a classroom would ever be able to provide.  (Sliding in a shout out to her blog The Boho Hobos- check it out!)

Another homeschooling Mama that I adore just recently hatched chicks from eggs that her daughters helped incubate and prepare for hatching.   Her one daughter sewed a doll for her other daughter as a Christmas gift.  It was better than I could have ever done! 

We are not all meant to be diplomats, inventors, engineers or doctors.  Some of us lead ordinary lives and go the rest of our lives without ever having to use the FOIL method again.  I think schools should use elementary to set a very basic foundation and then allow students to pursue different classes in high school.  Interested in the medical field?  Great, here are the Biology courses you can choose from.  Interested in Accounting?  Great, here are the Math classes you will need.  Cosmetology?  Sign here for technical school. 

I really don't think the Federal Government needs to be putting their two cents in on the topic of education.  I find it very ironic that they show so much concern over school attacks (shootings/ stabbings) but what do they do the minute someone upsets them?  They wage war, chock full of violence.  It is well known that bullying is a major problem in public schools, but when was the last time you saw an election that didn't include smear campaigns?  Bullying at it's finest.  They line their pockets while cutting funding to the schools, increasing classroom size and decreasing the amount of one on one attention each child will receive.  They will send millions to other countries but ignore the American family living in the streets.  No, I don't think the Feds are in a position to make any decisions regarding the children of this country.  Not until they shed their hypocritical skins and lead by example. 

And don't just blame Obama, Bush lit this fire with No Child Left Behind which started the push on standardized testing.  Common Core has just changed the testing involved.  Mr. President, no matter what kind of testing, curriculum or policy you roll out as long as you have children with empty bellies, bruises from last night's abuse on their body or learning disabilities courtesy of all the chemicals you allow to be pumped into Americans in order to feed your greed, nothing will change academically.  You will still place behind China and Japan.  Don't worry though, if that truly upsets you, you can just go ahead and wage war on them. 





  

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Oh the places I will go...

I love to travel and will be road tripping it (my favorite way to travel) to Illinois next month. So excited! Just found this cook website that helps map how much of the United States you have seen. Although I am happy knowing I have been to a quarter of the states, my goal is to visit at least half the states if not more.
visited 12 states (24%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or Triposo world travel guide for Android

Friday, April 4, 2014

Year of the Sloth Mama

We have all heard of the term "Tiger Mother".  Defined as a mother who is overly strict with her child in order to foster an academically competitive spirit. This form of upbringing is intended to direct a child towards financially successful careers at the potential risk of feeling emotionally unfulfilled and/or socially inept.  Based off of this definition, I am going to have to nickname myself a Sloth Mama. 


Tiger Mothers probably wake up in a pool of sweat screaming after having nightmares about becoming the kind of mother I am.  Starting with overly strict...now I guarantee that my teenager would tell you I am strict, but I am not.  I once got into a debate online with a woman who said that allowing your children to dye their hair and wear Victoria's Secret would for sure result in a teenage pregnancy.  My teenager's hair is currently at probably 7 different shades thanks to a trip to the local cosmetology school for some highlights.  I look at it like I'd rather have her experiment with hair color than other things like drugs and sex.  Now I have yet to say yes to any piercings other than ear lobes, but I am still not feeling worthy of a Tiger roar. 

There are "daily" chores assigned to every member of the family, but I put blinders on to lazy days where we all slack at what our assigned chores are.  More often my house is in a state where I prefer to lock the door than allow visitors in, but if I died tomorrow I wouldn't want my last thought to be at least my house is clean.  We actually spend a lot of time just relaxing at home, together.  I don't set limits (i.e. two hours of television a day, no electronics after 6pm, etc).  Right now I am vegged out in the recliner, typing away at this post while my oldest has fallen asleep on the couch with her little sister snuggled against her watching cartoons.  Dishes are in the sink, the house could be picked up but we have designated Friday nights as our "lazy night".  Basically being a little slack on the chores, don't cause my claws to come out. 

In fact our schedule is pretty lax most nights.  The very thought of hauling the kids from one scheduled activity/lesson/practice to the next gives me anxiety.  M (my youngest) just finished a 5 week swimming course.  She does Girl Scouts and will soon start T-ball.  P (my oldest) does cheerleading during football season.  She has actually participated in cheerleading every since she was 7 years old.  They both have dabbled in gymnastics, soccer, dance.  If they get into an activity they find themselves really not enjoying, I don't force them to continue with it.  I don't want them to fear trying something new out of fear they will hate it and be stuck doing it.  If I had a job I hated, I wouldn't stick with it just because I accepted the position.  I doubt Tigers actually do too much they hate either. 

Academically, both girls are average students.  They both have their areas they struggle in and you know what?  I am okay with that.  I don't expect 99 averages on everything and accept that not everyone learns the same and excels the same.  Prepare yourself- I don't even force the idea of college.  *Gasp*  Now granted I do encourage learning skills that set them aside from others in the workforce but I recognize that not everyone needs college (and the burden of debt after school) in order to succeed.  The very concept of being a Tiger Mother is to set aside emotional concerns in order to assure financial security and success.  This to me sends a message that money = success.  That achieving money is the goal in life.  I am not okay with that message.

Money does not equal happiness or success in life.  Look at the recent suicide of L'Wren Scott, a talented and loved woman who ended her life at the very thought of not being rich.  I want the girls to be comfortable in life but I don't think that a six figure salary is the answer to it all.  I think there are many honorable careers/ life choices that do not require a degree.  I want to encourage my girls to do something they enjoy in life, to choose their own path and have a voice in who they become.  I think a strong sense of self is worth more than a fat paycheck.  Would you rather have your child known as loving, caring and kind or as successful and wealthy? 

I am not saying that I wouldn't be thrilled for the girls if they ended up filthy rich, but what I am saying is I am not willing to sacrifice my children's emotional needs in the hopes that they will be a CEO.  When you teach your child to repress emotions and social needs, you are robbing them of compassion.  You teach them to not consider other's feelings when it can be an obstacle to financial gain.  This is a dangerous, slippery slope to send them down on their way into adulthood.  I once had the opportunity to review a book written by a psychologist in regards to psychopathy.  Some of his colleagues theorize that psychopathy is part of evolution.  While I can see how the lack of emotion would be beneficial to survival of the fittest, this theory scares the heck out of me.  Can you imagine the kind of world we will exist in when greed trumps emotion?  I sure hope I am not around to see it.  Or my kids for that matter.

Tiger Moms don't just repress their children emotionally but socially as well.  They do not acknowledge the importance of peers.  Both of making friends and losing friends.  Just recently my youngest expressed sadness at the realization that one of her treasured friendships was becoming a distant one.  This is part of growing up, we have all been there.  Friends that we once considered to be our closest friend become acquaintances.  It is a painful process to come to terms with but just as important to social development as making friends is.  When we don't learn what it is like to make friends, it creates a lonely existence.  When we don't learn what it is like to lose friends, we can't cope well with loss or changes in life.  We lose the ability to adapt, to compromise and to empathize.  Social and emotional wellness are just as, if not more important than financial wellness in the balance of life. 

Since I believe in the practices of attachment parenting, I place high priority on my children's emotional needs.  I don't believe in letting a baby cry or that you can spoil a child with too much affection.  I co slept with both girls.  The activities they are involved in is for the main goal of interaction with peers in order to develop social relationships.  I strongly believe in Erik Erikson's theory on psychosocial development and changing social dynamics based on the age of a person.  By the way, Erikson lacked a Bachelor's Degree but taught at highly respected schools such as Yale and Harvard. 

Everything is open in my house.  Minds, conversations, schedules, opportunities, arms.  I am not perfect and so I do not demand perfection.  I am happy being a Sloth Mama, whose young cuddle and cling to them until they are ready let go and try the world out for themselves.  Being a Sloth Mama who shows the way of the world, how to survive but also allowing for falls, for learning.  And even when they are ready to take the world on for themselves, they can keep me in reach for when they need support.  I don't want them to become the alpha Sloth or the Queen of the Sloths, but just a contributing member of the herd.  Laid back, non-predatory, harmless. 

Plus, we are pretty dang cute.  Sloth Mamas Unite!