A Kitchen to Entertain In!

My friend posted a before/after pic of an entertainment stand turned kitchen play set and I FELL IN LOVEEEEE!!  I became obsessed.  Hours spent on craigslist searching for the perfect entertainment center.  Staring at pictures of overpriced entertainment centers trying to envision where the fridge would be, the oven, the sink. 

It just so happened that the village wide rummage sales rolled around on the same day that I ran my first 10k.  In like 90 degree weather.  It kicked my arse.  So I pretty much slept through the village wide rummage sales.  Pissed me right off because I had wanted to hunt for an entertainment center for my project!  I had people texting me all day telling me where they had sited entertainment centers.  And I couldn't get off the couch.  Finally dinner time rolled around.  Of course, the sales had ended at this time.  My husband was at a wrestling tournament & I had put all my energy into the run so I decided Subway it was for dinner. 

After getting Subway I decided to just take a run down a street several people had told me an entertainment center was on.  Maybe they were running their sale late.  Sure enough as I rolled by, there she sat.  Curbside.  Which could only mean one thing.  FREEEEEEE.  I pulled aside the road and in a frenzied fury called my husband, my parents, anyone I could think of who had a truck to come help me load this free baby.  I sat there listening to the ringing phone as I sang to the entertainment center out my window...I got you babe....

Alas, no one was home or answering cells.  Deflated I drove away, so close yet so far.  Oh well.  Later when my husband got home I said, you know let's take a drive and just see if it's still there.  If it's meant to be, it will be.  As we approached the house, I felt my heart leap as we drew closer and I saw it sitting on the curb still.  Truly meant to be.  Everything happens for a reason.

So we loaded that heavy as hell sucker into the back of my husband's truck.  Brought her home and unloaded it onto the back porch.  Now the fun began.

First step was I took off all the doors.  There was a side door that opened up to shelves for DVD's that I took off and intended to leave off as the "Pantry area".  The rest of the doors I set aside to transform at a later time.  I was already armed with spray paint in the main color of the kitchen.  Seeing how my young Julia Child prefers purple we went with a nice light purple, nicknamed Gum Drop by Krylon (6 cans @ $4.00 each = $24.00).  Patience is a virtue with spray paint.  Unfortunately I lack patience so I have a major love/hate relationship with spray paint.  Any paint actually.  I hate the apply a coat and let dry, apply another coat, dry, coat, dry...I am more of a want things done immediately girl.  But if you want to avoid runs, invest in patience with this step. 

Next step is I made curtains for the "window".  I selected fabric ($5.00) and ribbon ($3.00) from WalMart and picked up a tension rod ($3.00).  I folded over about 6 inches of fabric and using my beloved hot glue gun, I glued the fabric together to create a "pocket" to threat through the tension rod.  I measured the "window" area and trimmed up my fabric to match.  I cut a rectangle section from the center of the fabric to give it the appearance of curtains and valance.  I glued on ribbon trim.  Voila...curtains!

No window would be complete without a view and my mom had an old framed picture of a young boy playing with a dog at pond side just sitting in her closet.  So FREE!  I removed the frame and glass and disposed of the glass as the lower risk for harm, the better.  I spray painted the wooden frame with a silver spray paint ($4.00).  After drying, I put the picture back in the frame and using Command picture hanging strips, attached it to the back of the entertainment center where the TV would normally go and then hung the curtains.  A kitchen with a view!

Next I hung Command hooks ($3.00) to hang up the apron, pot holders & a dish towel.  For a stove top I took old, scratched up CD's and spray painted ($4.00) them black.  I used a square piece of patterned contact paper ($3.00) to create the stove top and then placed the spray painted CD's for burners and covered them with clear packing tape to avoid scratching the spray paint off the CD's/burners during play.  For oven knobs, we had recently replaced the knobs on my daughter's dresser so I spray painted the old knobs silver ($4.00).  My husband cut a piece of wood to fit the opening under the TV area and screwed it into the enclosure after screwing the knobs onto the wood.

The oven was a door I had removed under the stove top area.  I spray painted the door silver, bought a long, thin drawer pull ($5.00) and attached it at the top of the door.  I used a piece of glittery black foam with adhesive backing ($2.00) to create the oven window.  Reattach door. 

The "fridge" was the long glass door that enclosed a shelved area.  The glass made me nervous, but I covered it with contact paper on both sides so in case the glass did break, it would not shatter on the floor but rather remain stuck to the contact paper.  With the remaining contact paper I covered the wooden shelves to create the fridge shelves.  The outside of the fridge door I painted in magnetic paint ($20.00) which was probably the worst part of the project. If I did this again, I would most likely skip this step.  I also rolled the magnetic paint to the top of the area where the TV would sit for a school locker chandellier- it really lights up as in pic below ($15.00)!  Once covered in dry magnetic paint, I spray painted the outside of the fridge door.  To decorate the fridge door, I took some old clear photo magnetic frames and found some old greeting cards with different pictures I thought my daughter would like.  I cut the greeting cards to fit the frames and attached to the fridge door.

I had a little bit of contact paper left over so to break up the color and make it a bit spiffier, I used contact paper to wrap the other door, adjacent to the oven to create a cupboard door.  I spray painted the handle and reattached door when dry.

For the sink I bought a silver dog dish ($3.00).  Make sure the top of the bowl has a "lip".  My husband cut a hole in the TV area of the entertainment center to fit the bowl.  I found a faucet on clearance at Lowes ($8.00).  I jazzed up the kitchen with a dry erase board ($2.00) and a clock ($4.00).  I happened to find a small pot of flowers for 30 CENTS at the Dollar General. 

For around $112.30 I ended up with a heavy duty, amazing one of a kind play kitchen.  If you skip the magnetic paint and chandellier you can do this for around $75.00. 

 

Zombies & Zoloft

Scooby Doo I have solved the mystery.  That man who ate the other guy's face off in Miami was not on bath salts.  He was not a zombie.  He simply hadn't taken his Zoloft in three days.  How do I know?  Because after missing two doses of Zoloft I want to freak the hell out too.  I can't imagine missing three doses.  I can see the logic in ripping off people's faces who piss you off after three days of no Zoloft. 

What is Zoloft?  It's an anti-anxiety med.  Why am I on it?  Well sit back and let me tell you the story.  Before I had my surgery one of the tests I had to take was a psych test.  Easy peasy!  I drove to the appointment with such arrogance and confidence, nose held in the air, pinky out as I sipped on my latte.  Me, fail a psych test?  Pfftt...as if.  As I met the psychiatrist I gave him a quick glance over.  Tall, graying hair, a bit arrogant and confident himself.  We sat down to begin the appointment.  I am not even sure what the first question was, but holy Niagara Falls.  I was instantly crying so hard that there was gobs of snot and I am sure he didn't understand half of what I said, it was just a nightmare.  Apparently my father being diagnosed with cancer the same year that my husband had unexpected open heart surgery and then a defibrillator inserted six months later took a bigger emotional toll on me than I had realized.  I sobbed the entire appointment.  I am not quite sure how I left the room without a straight jacket actually.  At the end the doctor took a deep breath in and upon exhale said, "I think you might need an anti-anxiety prescription."  I looked at him bewildered and said, "Me, really?"  Except for in my hysteria induced new language, I am sure it sounded more like, "Mah? Wee-hiccup-wee?"  Sniffle, gasp, sniffle.  I am not quite sure where he got the idea that meds might help.  I gave him the benefit of a doubt and got a script for Zoloft. 

Society has placed a taboo on talking about depression, anxiety and any mental issue but my family doctor explained it so well.  We all have a "faucet" in our brain that releases seratonin into a basin that holds it as it evenly drains out into our bodies to keep us "balanced".  The only issue is one of the physical reactions to stress is the faucet gets "plugged"  and squeezes off the flow of seratonin, so after the basin empties at a faster rate to combat the stress the body is feeling, you are running on empty and so that is when on is "unbalanced".  The Zoloft helps to keep the faucet unplugged.  So basically I am on Draino for the brain.  I was nervous starting the Zoloft as you hear about weight gain, zombie like moods (and not the cool zombies that break out in dance offs in the middle of the street either), etc.  I did have to switch from taking it at night to morning as it kept me awake if I took it at night.  I did have to push through a period of "racing thoughts".  It was like so many thoughts and ideas flooding my mind at once, it was a bit overwhelming and scary.  It happens if I forget to take a few doses, as does standing still but feeling the entire room shift.  However once my body adjusted to the medicine (a good doctor should slowly increase the level, starting at the lowest level possible) it was wonderful!

I mean, I don't skip through fields braiding together daisies to wear in my hair but at the same time I no longer envision myself climbing the walls as my tongue darts in and out as my head spins 360 Linda Blair style either.  If I do skip dose or two (which happens on weekends when my routine is a bit different) I am noticably more irritable.  Even my husband can tell when I have missed 2 doses.  He will ask, "Did you forget your Zoloft?" which makes me want to rip his face off even though he is right.  So last night after writing my blog about imperfection I realized I had missed two doses.  So I took a dose and I do feel better today.  Like when my husband tried to take the play kitchen upstairs and we realized it doesn't fit up our stairs, I did not freak out.  I simply said we would have to keep it downstairs for Madison to play with.  When going through my digital camara and noticed that Madison had taken pictures of me getting ready to get into the shower, naked, I did not lock her in the basement.  I actually kind of giggled as I erased them and thanked God for no longer needing to toss out the entire roll of film due to a few nudie pics.  When getting out of the shower today and I realized I never grabbed towels so I dripped across the floor and grabbed some towels.  As I was wrapping my hair I realized I forgot to wash out the conditioner.  Silly me.  Tee hee. 

So while I am not likely to be singing Kumbaya around a campfire with braided daisies in my hair as long as I have my Zoloft I doubt I will eat another human's face off.  Although I may be known to break out in random zombie dances to Thriller but that is something I can live with all thanks to modern medicine. 

Miss Non-Perfectionist

I am the woman who forgets to hang out laundry during a heat wave but the minute I do, it down pours.  The one who spends hours making a grocery list and clipping coupons only to forget to it with me to the store.  The one who forgets to take out dinner in the morning.  The one who will spend $50.00 on a pedicure only to smudge it getting in the car.  The one who always arrives late and the one who will always drip lunch on her shirt.  I am Miss Non-Perfectionist.

So why oh why do I take on do it yourself projects?  I do not have the patience for these types of projects yet I flood myself with a list of ideas to take on.  I recently made a Masterpieces wall in order to display my children's artwork.  I spray painted the board & glued on clothespins (no doubt there are spots where the paint ran) and bought a Masterpieces wall decal online.  I walked outside for ten minutes to hang up laundry and came back in to find Madison had gotten into the wall decal and ripped some of the letters.  TEN MINUTES.  So I did manage to piece the letters back together but there is definitely and incline in the word....Master is in the soutwest while pieces in the northeast.  Sigh. 

I one day decided to do a backsplash behind my kitchen sink.  Easy if you have patience.  I do not.  So my tiles are a bit crooked in a few areas...a few dozen areas.  Every time I look at it now I grit my teeth.  And want to kick kittens.

So a good friend Amber posted a pic online of someone who took an old entertainment stand and transformed it into a kitchen.  Instantly I become obsessed with the idea.  Spending hours looking for an entertainment center.  Hours more into shopping around for supplies for the project.  Hours more making the transformation happen. 

Today I have spent hours working on the kitchen.  I am ready to freak the hell out.  First of all I suck at painting.  Spray painting, brush painting, roller painting...it doesn't matter, I suck.  I drip, it runs, I smear, I end up covered.  So I decided to prime the "fridge door" with magnetic paint so she can stick magnets on her fridge.  If I ever utter the words Magnetic Paint again, please someone club me over the head.  Seriously, it would be less painful.  So I grab the can, give it a few shakes and crack it open.  My husband announces we don't have a paint pan...mind you we JUST left the hardware store.  So I poured it out on the door and rolled the paint on.  It was really thin, I was suprised by this but I kept applying coats.  When magnets were not sticking after a few coats, I became suspicious something was wrong.  I read the back of the can (pfft....no one does that before they start) and learned that you have to shake really hard in order to stir up this kind of paint.  So I grab a stir stick and go to stir.  Holy cow, the bottom of the can is like sludge.  Tar like sludge.  Putting my biceps to work, I used both hands to stir the sludge.  Apparently my strength exceeds my expectations since the stir stick came flying up out of the can along with a handful of sludge.  Smack dab into my face.  It coated my nose, my nostrils, my upper lip...speckled my eyelids, my cheeks...tar like sludge.

There is moments of wrestling with contact paper, duct tape, spray paint, spray paint, spray paint...God I hate spray paint.  I think it is impossible for me to apply anything with perfection.  Her dry erase board is crooked.  The clock is crooked.  The contact paper shelves have bumps and lines.  I am so imperfect that I probably would give a perfectionist a heart attack.  I have the best of intentions but no matter how hard I try, nothing is ever as perfect as what I envision.  Martha Stewart, how the hell do you do it?! 

I took a shower to calm me down.  It obviously didn't work as after my shower a Daddy Long Legs Spider crawled into the sink and I drowned him to death for daring to interrupt my shower time.  I am pretty sure that is an indicator of possible future serial murderer.  I guess that makes sense...seeing how Martha Stewart spent awhile in the belly of the beast aka prison.  I now understand why, Martha...the strive for perfection can drive a person insane!

Colorblind

I was watching TV when a commercial came on advertising a dating website.  This one raised my eyebrows because it was a dating site exclusively for black people.  Can you imagine if there was an advertisment for a exclusive dating site for white people?  It would be controversial and labeled as racist!  How is this fair?  You have BET TV, Ebony magazine and Black Pride Month.  Can you imagine if we had WET TV (White Entertainment Television), Ivory magazine or White Pride Month?  There would be riots and protests against the racism and prejudice.  I don't understand why one race can be open with pride for their background, but another can not. 

For minorities who demand equality, it seems hypocritical to form race exclusive groups.  I am by no means racist, but in that sense I am against any kind of segregation whether it be white based, black based or Asian based.  If you want equality, I think it should be across the board. 

I understand that minorities have suffered great tragedies at the hands of ancestors of the Caucasian race.  My ancestors also used an outhouse and lived without power.  That does not mean I am going to.   I think slavery or abuse of any form is horrible.  I think segregation of any kind is unfair.  I woul dnever judge a person based on color, gender, sexual orientation, religion, age or economic class. 

In one of my finer drunken moments as a young single woman in the bar scene, I engaged in a conversation with an African American man who referred to his friend as a "Nigga".  I find the word absolutely repulsive, to the point where it is the one word that would make me wash my kids mouth out with soap, so in my drunken honesty, stripped of all inhibition, I asked him why it was okay for two black men to call each other that word, but the minute a white person said it all hell breaks loose.  He explained to me it was the way white people say it.  That we say "Nigger" while they say "Nigga".  Oh yes, I see now how much less insulting it is when you drop the "Er" and add an "A".  Despite it being a moment that should have been a fuzzy memory, I have always remembered his response clearly because it made no sense to me.  That word is a horrible insult any way you look at it.  Apparently even more so, if you are white and you say it. 

Affirmative action was created to prevent prejudice when if you ask me, it increases it.  Take two people who are equally qualified for a position.  One person is a Hispanic, one person is white.  They both have the credentials needed, they both have glowing references but in the end the company hires the Hispanic in order to fill it's affirmative action requirements.  Isn't that prejudice to the equally qualified white person? 

Bottom line is prejudice is colorblind.  It's a shame society isn't.