So why oh why do I take on do it yourself projects? I do not have the patience for these types of projects yet I flood myself with a list of ideas to take on. I recently made a Masterpieces wall in order to display my children's artwork. I spray painted the board & glued on clothespins (no doubt there are spots where the paint ran) and bought a Masterpieces wall decal online. I walked outside for ten minutes to hang up laundry and came back in to find Madison had gotten into the wall decal and ripped some of the letters. TEN MINUTES. So I did manage to piece the letters back together but there is definitely and incline in the word....Master is in the soutwest while pieces in the northeast. Sigh.
I one day decided to do a backsplash behind my kitchen sink. Easy if you have patience. I do not. So my tiles are a bit crooked in a few areas...a few dozen areas. Every time I look at it now I grit my teeth. And want to kick kittens.
So a good friend Amber posted a pic online of someone who took an old entertainment stand and transformed it into a kitchen. Instantly I become obsessed with the idea. Spending hours looking for an entertainment center. Hours more into shopping around for supplies for the project. Hours more making the transformation happen.
Today I have spent hours working on the kitchen. I am ready to freak the hell out. First of all I suck at painting. Spray painting, brush painting, roller painting...it doesn't matter, I suck. I drip, it runs, I smear, I end up covered. So I decided to prime the "fridge door" with magnetic paint so she can stick magnets on her fridge. If I ever utter the words Magnetic Paint again, please someone club me over the head. Seriously, it would be less painful. So I grab the can, give it a few shakes and crack it open. My husband announces we don't have a paint pan...mind you we JUST left the hardware store. So I poured it out on the door and rolled the paint on. It was really thin, I was suprised by this but I kept applying coats. When magnets were not sticking after a few coats, I became suspicious something was wrong. I read the back of the can (pfft....no one does that before they start) and learned that you have to shake really hard in order to stir up this kind of paint. So I grab a stir stick and go to stir. Holy cow, the bottom of the can is like sludge. Tar like sludge. Putting my biceps to work, I used both hands to stir the sludge. Apparently my strength exceeds my expectations since the stir stick came flying up out of the can along with a handful of sludge. Smack dab into my face. It coated my nose, my nostrils, my upper lip...speckled my eyelids, my cheeks...tar like sludge.
There is moments of wrestling with contact paper, duct tape, spray paint, spray paint, spray paint...God I hate spray paint. I think it is impossible for me to apply anything with perfection. Her dry erase board is crooked. The clock is crooked. The contact paper shelves have bumps and lines. I am so imperfect that I probably would give a perfectionist a heart attack. I have the best of intentions but no matter how hard I try, nothing is ever as perfect as what I envision. Martha Stewart, how the hell do you do it?!
I took a shower to calm me down. It obviously didn't work as after my shower a Daddy Long Legs Spider crawled into the sink and I drowned him to death for daring to interrupt my shower time. I am pretty sure that is an indicator of possible future serial murderer. I guess that makes sense...seeing how Martha Stewart spent awhile in the belly of the beast aka prison. I now understand why, Martha...the strive for perfection can drive a person insane!
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