I am MISERABLE right now with hunger. I have been watching Vampire Diaries and I understand that insatiable hunger they keep talking about. I feel like I have empathy for vampires now. I should definitely be allowed in their inner circle...score since most vampires are majorly hot. On TV at least. I can see it now. Hottie McHottie Vampire in one corner sucking on a neck while I am crouched down in the opposite corner, hovering over a giant freakin cookie that I have been sinking my teeth into, smears of chocolate all over my face. I. Just. Can't. Control. Myself.
Luckily the fear of ripping my stomach open scares me into following doctor's orders for the most part. I admit I am supposed to wait til Day 3 or 4 to eat cottage cheese but I needed some protein. I was feeling dizzy and shaky. Food withdrawals I suppose. But I must it up with my tongue until liquidy before I swallow it.
During these times looking through cookbooks is the equivalent of a perv looking at porn. I drool, fantasize and long for whatever dish is so glamorously displayed on a simple white plate. Oh you bad, bad teriyaki chicken breast. Don't make me gobble you right up.
Today I drove down to McD's for a pumpkin milkshake. Normally something I try to avoid the temptation of as I am well aware of the calories in one of these bad boys, but without any solids in my systems the thickness of a shake calms the screaming beast in my belly. For a bit anyways. McDonalds for the most part disgusts me. I will eat their salads every once in a great while and their shakes and McFlurries are pretty tasty but that's about all I like there. I can't get past knowing what the chicken nuggets look like before they are nuggets. I can't get past the pink slime in the burgers. Fast food is pretty much the equivalent of self ingestion of poison. Except Taco Bell. 100% healthy. Don't dare to inform me of otherwise. Especially at this point of my four days of malnourishment. Anyways I am in drive thru line and I see this poster of the new CBO burger. Cheddar, Bacon & Onion. What would normally turn my stomach at the thought of actually made my taste buds perk up. My mind was screaming oh hell no while waving a finger in the air while my tongue was knocking that voice out and my belly was crying for a CBO pink slime burger. Eaaaatttt ittt. Ittt'sss sooo yummmyyy. I'mmm sooo looonnnellly anddd empttyyy downn hereeeee....FEEDDDD MEEEEE.
Luckily for me LapBand Man came to the rescue and reminded me no solids for four days. And once I am able to eat oatmeal, eggs, salads, meats and veggies I will be fine with that. Maybe I should then start trying to wean myself off of the sugar....but that is whole other blog with tales of it's own demons. For now, I sit here sipping on my delicious Starbucks Salted Caramel Hot Cocoa, counting the hours down until I can return to a normal diet. I can't believe I did this for five weeks around my surgery.
On another topic regarding the Lap Band what the hell was I thinking getting a surgery which requires frequent injections? I am the girl who won't get a tattoo because she fears the needle. Who hasn't had a tetanus shot in probably 20 years because the thought of a needle makes her woozy. Even worse is where my port implanted on my stomach muscle makes it difficult to locate with a needle. So they have to poke around with the needle to find the spot and yesterday it was about 20 pokes before the doctor connected. I was so sore last night! I am pretty sure this is a form of modern medevil like torture. The only reason I agreed to voluntarily undergo this torture was due to the years of hitting the McDonald's drive thru....I blame the pink slime that has built up in my body over the years. I definitely think this is a legit lawsuit.....
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