Just for this blog's sake, I want to dive deeper into what it's like to be a woman. Let's start with hygiene. Men, you complain about when we hibernate from the razor for the winter. We deal with your body hair 24/7, 365 days a year. How is that any different? And please, do release your secret about how it never bothers you to have your leg hair rub against your pants or catch on the bedsheets. That IS the only reason we cave and shave. Or maybe for just five more minutes of peace and quiet in the shower.
While we are on the subject of the shower, FYI: it is the only time that we are truly "alone". It's why there are locks on bathroom doors. We honestly are crying on the inside when you "slip" inside the shower with us. Sex in the shower is just not fun as a woman. It's slippery, someone is going to break an arm, the water is pouring in our faces and we are slowly drowning, emotionally and physically. I have a close friend who I was once complaining about this with and she pointed out that unless you have a HUGE walk in shower, sex in the shower is just not practical. Her husband (a bigger guy) and her were showering together while she was pregnant. They tried to switch spots so he could be under the shower head to rinse off. Mid-switch he lost his balance, flipped backwards out of the shower, taking the shower curtain with him, slid across the floor and finally came to a stop when his head hit the wall, legs up in the air with everything just on display. She could not stop laughing to ask if he was okay. Either could I as she told me about it.
The only bad thing about a long shower is wondering what we will find when we finally emerge. Especially if football is on, we know you are not paying attention to the kids. It takes two to make a baby, but in most homes I know of it's a 70-30 parenting balance. I should not have to "check with you" on if you are available to "babysit" your own kids when I have something I want/need to do unless you do the same with me. Hunting season is not an automatic hall pass to get out of ever being home with the kids. I do continue having a life mid-October to mid-December, believe it or not. Also going to buy groceries for the family does not fall under the category of retail therapy or count towards "me" time. And if the kids are tagging along, shopping is not fun in any way or form.
Granted that if I ask my husband to make dinner, help out with bedtime or run the kids somewhere he is generally pretty good about it. However, I should not have to ask! No one asks me to make dinner, to do laundry, to clean the house. I just do it. Just because we are woman does not mean that it is our duty to make dinner, do dishes, vacuum and put the kids to bed after bath time. And by all means if we take ten minutes to sit braless in our pjs in the recliner with uncombed hair, unbrushed teeth and no makeup do not tell us that you think we are letting ourselves "go". My husband would personally never survive after uttering these words but I was just told of this BEAUTIFUL supermom whose husband said this to her and I just about died.
My husband does have the smarts to not utter words such as those to me, but however when it comes to our money he can be infuriating. He wants no part in the managing of the budget, the paying of the bills but if he comes and asks for something and I tell him the money isn't there right then and there he wants to know where all our money goes. Apparently the cable TV, the wifi, the food and the lights must all be free. The car and truck in our driveway? Free. Taxes? Exempt. Don't let my two inch long dark roots, bra hanging on by only one hook and basic cell phone that ghosts texts people fool you. I take ALLLLL our money and blow it on me. I apologize, I will go grab you your dinner, a beer, turn on football for you and take the kids somewhere so you can have peace and quiet to make it all better.
There is a push for women to be thin, perky, beautiful, sexy 24/7. Society turns their head for a man with a gut. There is a push for a woman to learn to juggle work, keeping the house clean, raising the kids. A man is viewed as weak if he helps out with his equal share. A headstrong man is viewed as macho and powerful, while a headstrong woman is a bitch. It is far more acceptable for a man to be promiscious than a woman.
Shortly after I had my c-section with my last daughter, my husband and I were out in public with her. She was in her carrier and since I could not carry more than 5 lbs he carried her. An older man came up to him and right in front of me said that it's the woman's job to be carrying around the baby, not the man. True story. In the balance of nature, I believe that it was a necessity to make man part of reproducing. Otherwise, women would probably kill them all off. Only then would there be world peace.
**No men were injured in the production of this blog. However a woman did manage to write and publish this blog while making dinner, feeding the children, cleaning the kitchen and starting a load of laundry. Don't worry- the men folk are in the woods hunting!**
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