Study #1: Male calls female that he refers to as his wife as she is working. He asks what is for dinner, because of course he has no hand in planning meals or purchasing groceries. When the answer is upside down night with fruit topped pancakes and bacon he wants to know what kind of bacon. Once again I point out this male DOES NOTHING towards buying groceries. No coupon clipping, no meal planning, no grocery shopping, no ad scanning. So of course he does not know that it is turkey bacon, selected as his wife prefers the taste and it is a healthier choice for the entire family. He groans. She points out it is better for his heart. He does not hesitate and replies, "Who is the one who had weight loss surgery and still sits in the chair at night and crams cookies in her mouth?"
Let me pause while all females suck in a gasp, cover their mouth and then say, "Oh no he didn't". Males are probably laughing, giving him an air high five.
Conclusion: NO COMMON SENSE!!!! Said female wakes up, gets herself and her two children ready for the day and off to school and work, puts in a full day at work, comes home, gets dinner going, picks up around the house, is attempting to build a blog empire, exercises, does any errands needed, pays bills, has remodeled nearly the entire house, fills the role of Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, mediator, counselor, nurse, friend, daughter, sister, wife...IF I WANT A FREAKING COOKIE OR EIGHT I WILL HAVE IT!!!!
Study #2: Female barely slept the night before. Lots on her mind, couldn't get comfortable, sick child, whatever the reason. She had a bad day at work. The house is a wreck. Bills outweigh income. A friend received bad news. Just a day from hell. Female is trying to cook dinner, grease splatters back on her hand, child is in kitchen. She yells for husband to please get off the couch and come get child out of kitchen. He comes out, ticked that she interrupted ESPN or his video game and snaps, "Are you on your rag?"
Females at this point have gone out to get the cast iron frying pan to just put themselves out of misery by offing their husband now. They know how infuriating this question is. Men are having flashbacks to the last time they slept on the couch due to saying these words.
Conclusion: NO COMMON SENSE!!! First of all even if we do have our period, that only calls for our husbands, partners, whatever to be more sensitive and pamper us more. We do not choose to have our inside membrane ripped from the muscles it lines, have our uterus ceiling cave in and the Raging Red Rapids to come gushing out of our bodies. Gag if you must, we live this horror story and you brought it up. Not to mention this is YOUR FAULT that we even have our periods. Click here if you want to see the reasoning behind that statement.
What Women Want: We want you to do your fair share. These dirty dishes are our dirty dishes. It was not just one of us who made the mess, so we both should share in cleaning it up. These wild hooligans running around, it took two to create and it takes two to raise. We should not have to ask you to please give them a bath or help put them to bed. No one has to ask us to do that. Offer to go grocery shopping, to help with Christmas shopping or wrapping. Help with dinner, every night. Let us sleep in on Sundays, watch a Lifetime movie with us, pretend to be remotely interested when we share gossip with you. It's all common sense.
**Disclaimer** No men were hurt during this case study. Thoughts of bodily harm definitely crossed female's mind but she had enough self control to finish out the study. Plus she is not done watching enough Investigation Discovery television and taking notes on how to not get caught. No, female was not "on the rag" during the development of research findings. It is our hopes that this research will lead to a surge of common sense and sensitivity in the male species. Now leave me alone while I eat my cookies.
No comments:
Post a Comment