Cake Boss

Hi, my name is Erica and I have society anxiety.  Not so much about going out in public to go shopping or go out to dinner but to social gatherings such as, but most definitely not limited to, baby showers, birthday parties, bridal showers, weddings, calling hours, funerals, etc.  The main reason is I suck at small talk.  I hate awkward conversations, trying to think of something to say, working the crowd, making sure my kids don't set something on fire.  For the most part, I like being home.  I like the comfort of home, I like no pressure to behave in a way that is socially acceptable.  I like Facebook.  I can comment on what I want, ignore what I want, interact with who I want....and in my underwear if I choose to (and I do quite often).  I like texting because I can have conversations while also carrying out other tasks and the small talk is eliminated.  You get right to the point.  In public you are expected to behave a certain way, look a certain way, think a certain way.  It's just awkward for me to try to conform to the social norms.  Then you have to worry about where you will sit, who you will sit with, will anyone even talk to you, what kind of food there will be and how bad it will stain your clothes when, not if, you drop a forkful on your shirt...uggghhh...I hate social situations. 

I used to love it, usually it was fueled by a few shots of Southern Comfort chased with Midori Sours or Smirnoff.  Funny how alcohol makes you braver, bolder, less aware of inhibitions.  Actually alcohol robs me of any inhibition.  **Shudder at awkward flashbacks**  I mean I remember bits of one time that I vomited all over myself and then proceeded to go back on the dance floor to shake it like a pro.  Oh the class.  I am pretty sure I am featured in a few videos on why not to drink alcohol as bad examples of how you can act when intoxicated.  This kids is Sober Sally crocheting while cooking a pot roast in the oven.  Good Sober Sally.  Oooohhh and this kids is Enebriated Erica falling down the steps at the Strand.  Bad Enebriated Erica. 

So now that I have turned into Sober Sally, social settings are just awkward for me.  Sure, 8 times out of 10 they turn out to be not so hideous and maybe even fun.  But usually I start dreading the events as soon as I am invited.  Take tomorrow.  Brian's family reunion at the beach.  After six years, I pretty much know all his family and they are all very kind to me.  My bestest friend of over 20 years is married to his cousin. It's at the beach so there are things to do.  Yet I am having a mini panic attack over it.  I have so much to do at home.  I will spend the entire time making sure Madison isn't drowning or throwing sand in her sister's eyes.  What do I wear? 

The one thing that turns a social setting into something that I look forward to is a little friendly competition.  I am one competitive bitch.  I like a challenge and I like to win.  It's why I like running.  I can race myself all the time.  I don't think it is a bad thing to be competitive.  Just because when I didn't win the Weather Word contest after playing faithfully every day I wished I was Carrie and could set the television station building on fire telepathically does not mean I am a sore loser.  Bastards. 

Off point, again, with this blog.  Soo to make this social gathering something to look forward to instead of be anxious about I decided to partake in the annual dessert contest.  This gave me something to focus on, rather than fret over the what if's.  Times like this I wish I had a Pinterest obsession like the rest of the world, but afraid to take away from my blogging & Facebook obsession I steer clear of Pinterest so I couldn't snag a nifty dessert idea from there.  I tried to Google ideas, but they are either Mission Impossible or just blah.  So brainstorm it was....and it came to me suddenly.  A beach themed cake.  No just a cake is boring and he has a bajillion family members so a regular cake would never cut it.  No, this had to be more than just a cake.  A double cake.  Layered.  With Cool Whip in between the layers?  No, too bland.  With frosting?  No, too predictable.  How about crushed fruit in between?  Perfect.  And a beach scene on top of the cake since it is at the beach.  Yeah with the sun and sand and water.  Use a lemon for the cake.  Eww...lemon will be too sour.  Okay...peaches?  Mmm.  And marshmallow clouds.  Blueberry water.  I should spell out something too...Fun in the Sun with the Perry Clan.  Perfect!  (Sorry about the dialogue between the voices in my head but I am giving you a glimpse of how my mind works)

So hours later, the cake is ready to go and in the fridge.  I am very excited about the family reunion and dessert contest and all is well in Erica land.  Moral of this long rambling blog?  Always find a way to make the best of everything, even things that give you anxiety, otherwise life will just leave you in a cloud of dust!