I would not remarry as I do not believe in ever lasting love between two humans. I do not think our species was meant to form a bond with one other for 60+ years. We are not a monogamous species. Very few species are actually. Black vultures show monogamous tendencies, but that may have something to do with the fact that when one of the flock starts showing in another member of the flock who may not be his lady, the others gang up on him and beat the crap out of him. Just yet another example of society forcing monogamy against instinct.
I think people get wrapped up in lust...have similar interests...enjoys each other's company. They get married...love is grand...life is magical. Then pregnancy...stretch marks...morning sickness...expanding bellies (and I am not just talking about Mama's). Dad watches 7 pounds of flesh shoot out of his wife's gaping vagina. Suddenly Mom is covered with baby vomit and Dad is working a double to pay for dance lessons and real estate taxes are due and everyone is exhausted. Dad still wants to go out hunting and play poker with the guys while Mom just wants to be able to pee without anyone watching her. At this point it is parenting and finances that holds a marriage together, not love.
Don't get me wrong...my husband is an AMAZING guy. He works hard for his family but we are most definitely at the point in our lives where when the other walks out the door we breathe a sigh of relief for some alone time. I no longer miss him the minute the door closes. That was lust. Sweet, sweet lust.
My best friend is a single lady who just went out on her first date since her seperation. I get excited for her but at the same time, I wonder why. We should celebrate independence and the ability to support ourselves. She has no one to answer to, no one to disappoint her. She really has herself in a wonderful position in life, one that should be celebrated. I am quite envious of her at times and admire her strength.
Humans, by nature, are polygamous. I think you would be hard pressed to find evidence to suggest otherwise. And I am not talking like Sister Wives but talking about the satisfaction of having one mate and one mate only for life. This idea has been forced upon us by religion, by society but never by nature. There is several types of monogamy...social, sexual, genetic and marital. Very few humans would pass the true test of being a monogamous creature. Can you think of anyone who has had only one sexual partner, lived with only one person, reproduced with only one person and married that same person? Unless you pass all those tests, then you are not a monogamous creature.
Even before you start thinking my husband and I are part of Swingers R Us or that we are unfaithful to each other, please know neither is true. Some couples are capable of fighting off temptations of nature and making the long haul together. This does not mean that they are monogamous, it means they fought instinct.
The idea of love between two unrelated people is one I dismiss. You can care for a person, have respect for them and form a friendship with them but with time you work at it harder and harder. I would gladly take a bullet for my children, but never for someone of the opposite sex. Long term relationships are hard because they are unnatural to our genetic makeup. I truly think the divorce rate has more to do with people less fighting their urges and society being more accepting of our natural instincts.
Before you argue with me, and there will be those who can't swallow this spoonful of sugar, do me a favor. Go to Newzjunky and read the Celebrations. All those happy couples, grinning ear to ear, excited to start their happily ever after. Now go and read the number of divorces filed in the current month. The divorces far outweigh the marriages. At one time all those divorcees believe in happily ever afters as well. Also be prepared with hard evidence of monogamy in marriages. Not religion based either, because to me that is society imposed, much like the black vulture situation.
Our society is obsessed with cheating. Just the other day I saw the front page of a popular newspaper had split the headline pic between a picture of the crazed guy who shot all those poor people in the movie theater in Colorado and a picture of Kristen Stewart who just cheated on Robert Pattinson. Yes I can see how her affair ranks up there with the deaths of 14 innocent people. Say the names Bill Clinton or Elliott Spitzer and the first thing you think of is their sexual escapades. I roll my eyes at it. Human nature people.
However, should Brian ever succumb to his natural instincts of desiring multiple mates, I will not hesitate to evict him from our social monogamy. And I will go on, solo...living my happily ever after!
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